WTF Theatre presents: Eagle Man

You know, Americans might very well be a nation of fat lazy blowhards with just enough money to buy guns and wish violent death upon anything that makes us uncomfortable, but you can't say we aren't marketing-savvy. Indeed, we're used to people trying to sell us stuff, and employing just about anything to do it; geckos, cavemen, C-list celebrities exploiting their "random pop culture reference" status, talking syrup bottles, cavemen again, and anthropomorphized money have all seen starring roles in commercials.

And that's just Geico. But if you thought their multiple simutaneous ad campaigns were as weird as it got, allow Eagle Man to shove you further down the rabbit hole.



"Down the rabbit hole" turns out to be appropriate phrasing, because whoever designed that thing took a page from Lewis Carroll's near-constant morphine delirium. Who on earth would accept car insurance from an egg that some colossal male bird squeezed out on their hood? Show me someone who would, and I will throw a net on them until they can be strapped into a coat that makes them hug themselves.

So of course they made a sequel, in which Eagle Woman lays eggs full of car insurance (in mid-flight, even) all over some guy who looks like Dante from Clerks.



The mind reels. It really does.