I am an over-sharer. A few months ago on a first date after about a fourth of a glass of wine I decided to tell my new acquaintance about Shower Belly. Shower Belly is a secret I had kept for more than 20 years -- it's my morning shower ritual of rubbing a layer of soap onto my belly and drawing pictures and patterns in the suds. I've done this every morning since I can remember and until that moment, nobody knew. I felt as if I had betrayed a little of myself, and also, I should add, this is not a good dating tactic. (The cat is out of the bag on Shower Belly, so I don't mind blogging about it.)You'd probably assume that Facebook would be deadly weapons for an over-sharer. But I am wary to make status updates and don't allow myself access to the site when I'm drinking. (This is necessary restraint.) I am constantly aware of Facebook status updates that are annoying. You know, the ones that show off how many miles someone just ran, or the awesome sandwich they are eating, or how much they love their engagement ring. I specifically think it's annoying when people say things like, "Grandma, I miss you, Rest In Peace." I've actually seen shit like that and I don't want to be one of those people.
On Friday, I made a status update that said, "A moment of silence for Buddy, 1997 - 2009, the best boy in the world," to memorialize my cat who had died that morning. I didn't think it was a big deal but people immediately started commenting on it. ("Oh no!" "I'm so sorry!") and within a few hours the thread took up about three kilometers of wall space. This annoying post was now growing beyond my control. I hadn't intended to cause a fuss or fish for pity; I only wanted to give little Buddy Edward a moment of recognition.
I think this caused me to have an epiphany about annoying status updates: idle hands are the devil's playground. I had been incredibly bored that day. Due to a slight medical emergency, I was trying to work from home, in bed with my lap top, but I was getting distracted and since I wasn't in the office, I was much less busy. So I had alllllll day to think about the two big things that were happening to me that day: the fact that I was recovering from a medical procedure and the fact that my cat died. Instead of updating everyone about my lady parts, I updated about Buddy. (YOU'RE WELCOME.) Fortunately, the meds caused me to pass out face down on my computer, so I couldn't do any more damage. But the takeaway was that when you don’t have enough to think about, uninteresting things seem more significant, and worthy of an update than they actually are.
Also, posting a pet's death is slightly less annoying than a grandmother's. For some reason it almost seems insulting to open up a death to the Facebook status realm. But it's okay to do with a pet (who doesn’t get an obituary or a funeral) and adorable if the person posts a picture of that cat wearing a sombrero. (CHECK.) I will be more careful in the future, though, about updating my status.
I don't like Twitter and the only good thing about it is listening to old people talk about it. John Roberts, the elder-ish, renowned news anchor of CNN American Morning was talking about it with some social networking expert asking questions like, "Do you think The Twitter will catch on?" And you could just see in his eyes, that although he has a Twitter account, he doesn't understand its purpose. It's a Gen Y Thing.
It's unfortunate that Twitter is alienating Senior Citizens, though. I wish my Grandma had a Twitter account. Knowing her, her tweets would be much more amusing than Kal Penn's disappointing tweets about watching Lost or reading The Guardian. (I am waiting for him to post about when he's coming to the East Coast and his exact locations, or I try to gleam information about what kind of hair-do he prefers on girls so I can get that hair-do. Although I have started watching Lost and reading The Guardian.)
Tweeting with Grandma:
Joycey_P: They raised the price of JB& Water at the Legion! Rip! Off!
Joycey_P: Wish those goddam birds would stop chirping. Playing my numbers at the club now.
Joycey_P: Love Jim Jam! Check it out! http://sendables.jibjab.com/
Lauren_P: @Joycey_P you mean jib jab
Joycey_P: @Lauren_P Jimmity Jill?
Lauren_P: @Joycey_P no it's jib jab
Joycey_P: @Lauren_P Jin Jan
Lauren_P: @Joycey_P JIB JAB
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