I had to use the word "episiotomy" in a piece I was writing on pregnancy awhile ago, and I thought: I do not want to look that up. I can just tell it's gonna be gross. But I had to. So I googled it. It was by far the most horrific google experience I have ever had, possibly for the same reason Little Children bothered men way more than women.
I am going to offer the link below, in case you are curious. Which I'm assuming you are now? But I'm warning you. If you click it and throw up or something, do not blame me. Not only is there a cringe-worthy description, there is an image so graphic that I am positive your gut reaction will be, whether you have a vagina or not, to X the box away as quickly as you can. That is what I did. I was thinking am I going to get in trouble for looking at this page at work?
But then I remembered where I work.
And I refreshed the page and read it.
No really, you need to know what your mom did for you. Here is the link.
I immediately called up my mother, a bit outraged. "Mom, did you have an episiotomy?"
"Yeah, most people do."
"Why did you not tell me about this? Why did you not complain?"
"Oh please, you just do it."
"You just let someone cut your vagina open with SCISSORS and then stitch it back up?"
"Yes."
And that is the thing. They just do it and don't whine. But this is a big deal to me. I am not okay with this. Thanks, mom! Can I get you a coffee or anything?
Guys, Mother's Day is in 26 days. I'm just saying.
I assumed from the picture you were going to post on Arnold movies that make you not want to have children... because there is more than 1.
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