Why Disney World Kicks Ass Reason #5: Dance Party!

Why can't the real world be like this:

During Magic Kingdom after hours, when the park is open until sometimes 1 AM, "Dance Party!" sprouts up all over the park -- the closest thing to a kiddie night club, complete with spinning deejay, flashing lights, and dance floor. I am obsessed. The one in Fantasy Land, for example, has a Little Mermaid theme, so there are wild Under the Sea decorations and people dressed in cartoonish fish costumes busting moves on the dance floor. (In this way, it is sort of like a Flaming Lips concert.) The music, I have to admit, is pretty bad. (They obviously love Hannah Montana and techno versions of Disney classics, but I do enjoy the occasional oldies and mo-town). But when Mom and I have just knocked back a few drinks, I find myself getting really into it.

One problem: I don't know if you've ever noticed, but little kids are sucky dancers. They just kind of sway or jump up and down or the really annoying ones run as fast as they can in circles screaming. That is not dancing. So my more refined dance techniques really stick out (as long as the little kids stay out of my way, which they sometimes do not.) I hope those kids are taking notes.

If mom is drunk enough, she will twist, but most of the time I am on my own. Except for one time, pictured here, where I think a Magic Kingdom janitor felt bad that I was by myself and came up and started dancing with me. (Although, in Disney World, employees aren't called janitors, they are called "cast members" because they are kind of like actors in a big play that is Disney World). We had so much fun I thought I'd never stop laughing.

I think Dance Party! should be implemented all over the country and possibly the world. I want to be able to just stop what I'm doing for a few minutes and go all nuts. It would make me a better, happier person. I'm going to try to have it become company policy at work. Required Dance Party! I don't think it's too much to assume, either, that Dance Party! could bring world peace.