Why Disney World Kicks Ass Reason #4: Kitsch

I've never been to Hawaii and I don't want to go because I fear that it won't be nearly as awesome as the Polynesian Resort in Disney World. I mean, if you are going to go with the luau theme, it has to be so ridiculously over-the-top. (Hawaii, I fear, is probably too much like actual Hawaii.) With tiki culture, you can't go half-way. That is why Disney got it right: They go all out with kitsch.

The Polynesian embraces tiki-culture in every square inch of the property, which includes almost 800 rooms in "Brady Bunch goes to Hawaii"-esque long houses, a white sand beach, tiki torches and music that line the walk ways, a volcano water slide, a "Great Ceremonial House", waterfalls, over 75 species of exotic plant life, and hula dancers. They aren't subtle about anything and seem comfortable with exploiting blatant stereotypes about Polynesian natives.

Disney doesn't stop there. They embrace television sitcom kitsch, outer space kitsch, carnival kitsch, old Hollywood kitsch, Western kitsch ... thinking about it all actually has me second-guessing the actual definition of kitsch in the first place, and now I'm sort of just thinking the entire park is one big Land-O-Kitsch. I don't go to Disney World for subtleties, to stay in a Marriot, to eat food without being entertained by fire swallowers or country western dancers, or to drink cocktails with less than 30 umbrellas/swords/crazy straws in them. I go to Disney World to be wowed and they deliver every single time.