Why Disney World Kicks Ass Reason #1: It’s Good For Your Imagination

I was 5 the first time I went to Disney World (the perfect age, according to me), and I distinctly remember exactly what I was thinking as I set sail to the Pirates of the Caribbean, the indoor boat ride that takes you through a Caribbean town being ransacked by sex-craving, drunk, pillaging pirates. Wait a second… how could you not love this ride? (Especially since a 2006 addition of a Johnny Depp animatronic doll who looks so real I practically jumped out of the boat and begged him to sleep with me the first time I saw him.)

But back to when I was five. I thought, as our boat eased into the waters and drifted past the backdrop of an endless Caribbean sea: “How did they get the whole ocean into this ride?”* I would kill to have that excitement again, that wonder, that amazement. I have my moments when I do – when I’m looking at stars, sometimes, or thinking about how much ass a T-Rex could probably kick, but Disney World brings this magic to millions of people every day. For one sweet moment, these kids are in pirate land. Where else are they made this offer?

Pirates of the Caribbean isn’t the only place that offers this kind of magic. Pretty much every single corner of the entire property (which is, by the way, twice the size of the island of Manhattan) has been painstakingly designed by teams of “Imagineers” who plan out sights, smells, sounds, and uses of space that leave you feel like you are anywhere but central Florida. You feel like you’re in the caves of the South West, you feel like you’re on a rocket in space, you feel like you’re dining beneath an Aztec Pyramid, you feel like you’re fleeing from dinosaurs.

I see boys running around in raccoon caps and girls spinning in princess dresses and hats. They look just like I did (I had one of those pink princess hats!) on my first visit. Some things, like girls wearing princess hats, boys wearing raccoon caps, should never change. At work, I hear about little girls obsessed with going to the salon and worrying that they’re too fat and idolizing over-sexed pop stars. In Disney World, they escape this real world and get to run around on a way larger-than-life playground all day, where every single thing was created to make them feel magical.

Omg, I’m getting teary eyed. More later.

*I’ve since learned that the sky line is an illusion and the pirates are animatronics, making the Pirates of the Caribbean slightly — only slightly — less enjoyable.