When a stranger in a mangy t-shirt writes a few sentences on the internet about how he wishes he had said something to you, it almost makes it okay that you are single and have no one to see Slumdog Millionaire with. It doesn't matter if he had asked for your number you wouldn't have given it to him because he probably has a sex + chocolate pudding fetish and he smells like canned Atlantic salmon. Someone thinks you are attractive. And because I really believe this, lately I have been reading a good deal of the MCs and trying to figure out how I can achieve this very special brand of fame.
1. Learn how to make I'm-Interested-in-Having-Sex-With-You Eyes. Practice in front of a mirror if necessary. (It's best of you don't wink to get the message across. Lips are acceptable.)
2. Make eyes at guys that are tall and wear button down shirts. This is what 90% of posters say they look like.
3. Be Asian or blonde if possible. Wear a bright colored accessory. Yellow tank tops do well.
4. Actually anything to call attention to yourself is good. "tear it up" on the dance floor or yell something slutty at a concert.
5. Hang out in Union Square or ride the subway a lot. The L train is best.
6. Mornings and evenings are the best times. So try to look hottest then.
7. Your neighbor might be your best option. So don't ignore him even though he seems a bit intense. Keep your curtains open, he knows what you're up to all the time anyway.
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