WTF Lyrics: Take Me By the WHAT?

I was just thinking about how much I love Dance Hall Days, how sweetly, slickly '80's it is, when I realized I actually don't know the lyrics, and after reading the lyrics, realizing I don't get them at all:

Take your baby by the hand
And make her do a high hand stand
Take your baby

by the heel
And do the next thing that you feel

We were so in phase
In our dance hall days
We were cool on craze
When i, you, and everyone we knew
Could believe, do, and share in what was true
Oh, I said

Take your baby by the hair
And pull her close and there there there
Take your baby by the ears
And play upon her darkest fears

Repeat chorus

So take your baby by the wrist
And in her mouth an amethyst
And in her eyes two sapphires blue
And you need her and she needs you
And you need her and she needs you

Is that why I think this song is so cool -- because I have no idea wtf is going on? Is that the appeal? Maybe I'm a sucker -- Wang Chung could start singing about monkey anuses and I could be convinced that it's totally cool and normal and worthy of a song.

Also: this video CAN BE considered bomb-ass.