Todd Rundgren music was the soundtrack to my childhood. My family and I used to sing “Just One Victory” in the car, as a toddler, while my mom pushed me in the grocery cart, I would swing my legs and sing “Cliché.” I used to dance in the living room to “Bang on the Drums All Day.” As I get older, I realize that I love Rundgren’s music not only for sentimental reasons, but because I think Rundgren is a genius, making huge steps in music and technology, and crafting the most genuine lyrics I have ever heard in my life, ones that still make me really emotional.
My mom and I went to a Rundgren concert in New York City—she obviously is the person who got me hooked— and as we stood there waiting for Todd to appear I felt like an obsessed 12 year old at an N’Sync concert.
We started talking about one of Todd’s most famous songs, “Hello, It’s Me.” I mentioned how after years and years of listening to that song, I never really had thought about the lyrics until now, and I loved them.
The words -- “It’s important to me that you know you are free, 'cause I never want to make you change for me” – were meltworthy in my book. I am single, and cling to the idea of freedom probably a little too much. I would never change myself for a guy. “Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine” made me nod in agreement, as well. I don’t like the idea of feeling like someone else’s property. To me this was Todd’s song lamenting the girl who wouldn’t commit to him even though he was giving her freedom and respect.
My mom knew the lyrics in a different way. Todd is being a jerk in this song, she said. Then she schooled me in the idea of “Free Love”—a popular theme in 70’s culture. The way she described it, the freedom Todd is talking about isn’t a thing to be coveted at all, but more of a hands-off, commitmentless approach to love. As in, "Let's have sex, but I want you to be free, so then I'm not going to call you for four months." As supporting evidence, she referred me to other free-love songs. England Dan sings ”I'm not talking 'bout moving in, and I don't want to change your life. But… I'd really love to see you tonight.” Crosby, Still and Nash’s “Love The One You’re With” isn’t actually too romantic. And how about Mac Davis’ Don’t Get Hooked On Me “'Cause I'll just use you then I'll set you free”?
Now as I listen to Todd, I pick up more of this free love stuff in his lyrics. After spending four years living with a bunch of slutty sorority sisters in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, I started thinking that commitment-less sex was relatively new. But I guess we're just carrying the banner.
I know girls have a reputation for wanting monogamous, shopping-for-shower-curtains, meeting- mom-for-brunch relationships, but I have found that many girls are really into the idea of commitment-less sex. (Fo real -- I think the book should have been called She's Just Not That Into You). But honestly, this discovery about Todd's Free Love tactics was much like finding out there is no Santa, or falling out of the Garden of Eden. I will never be the same. Todd, you jerk. I thought you were better than this. Or maybe I was right all along, and in this song Todd is singing of a beautiful kind of freedom and a beautiful kind of love. Please, someone, tell me I was right the first time.
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