I get yelled at for a LOT of stuff in hip-hop class, but the number one issue that always comes up is my booty. Apparently, I really need to work on shaking it the right way. But how? Where do you learn how to do this? I'm trying, I swear.
Doing the Booty Dance in practice clearly wasn't working. I needed some secondary resources. So I did some research. Conducted some interviews. With Booty-Shaking EXPERTS. Well -- not really. I listened to a lot of rap music. And here is what it told me:
"Face the wall shawty, put your hands on it. Bounce that ass up and down make a nigga want it. Roll that ass round and round like a motherfuckin' wheel. Shake that shit, this ain't no motherfuckin' drill."*
-Ying Yang Twins (Salt Shaker)
*By the way: these lyrics are totally nasty so I didn't post the most graphic, informative Ying Yang Twin recommendations. See them here.
"If you wanna make the money shawty work that shit.
Put a hump in your back and lift your rump."
-Pitbull (Shake)
"Drop that ass shake that mother fucker up, now drop that ass shake that mother fucker up, lean back some mo',shake that mother fucker up, lean back some mo, shake that mother fucker up, shake that ass real hard, to the left make it right, shake that ass real hard, to the left and the right."
-Lil Jon & The Eastside Boyz (Aww Skeet Skeet)
"Papa think your ass lovely. Raise it like sugar, g-string hussy and hussy."
"So don’t be actin’ like you don’t be backin’ that stuff up. Girl in the club 'cause that’s what you got ass for. Wobble wobble, I’m infatuated."
"Now this ain’t for no small booties. No sir 'cause that won’t pass. (Show me what you’re workin’ with.) But if you feel you got the biggest one, then move, come shake ya ass."
-Mystikal (Shake Ya Ass)
"Better yet put ya back into it. Do ya thing like they ain't nothing to it. Shake shake that ass girl."
"She move so sure erotic. I watch her, im like bounce that ass girl."
-50 Cent (Disco Inferno)
"Bring that ass back yes sir like that. Shake your ass ma do your damn thang. Make that ass dip and do your damn thang(thang). Shake it real fast , but dont hurt nuttin. Lemme see you stop, drop straight twirk something."
"Do the duck walk and make your butt talk shhh less talk more duck walk."
"I aint tryna brag and i aint tryna boast but the way you shake that jelly I can put it on some toast so shake your ass quick like the holy ghost."
-Genesis (Duck Walk)
"Shuka-shu-shake; brake your hips and fall out of your Caravan right into a ditch, Bitch!"
-Lady Sovereign (Sad Ass Stripah)
"Shake that ass, ’cause fornication is the only way to make The Next Generation. When it comes to booty-shaking, girl’s got a gift. ‘Cause she raised that ass like a turbolift."
-Star Trek TNG
"Shake your tambourine go and get yourself a whistle."
"Get low get low, then pick up pick up. Get your hands in the air, it's a stick-up stick-up. Shake your ass quicker, quicker. Shake it down in town, get the picture, picture?"
-Eve (Tambourine)
THE TAKEAWAY (My notes):
- General rule: Drop, shake, lean, repeat.
- Arch your shoulders, KEEP BUTT LIFTED!!!!! (<-- this is key)
- Put your back into it, but act like it's no big deal and not hard at all.
- Small booties are no good. In fact, if you don't think it's huge, don't even try to shake it.
- Find out exactly how, and how fast, the holyghost shakes it, because apparently that is the way to do it.
- Figure out what it looks like to "fall out of your caravan right into a ditch."
- Speed is everything.
- Wobbling has a positive effect on observers.
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