City Passes New "Dunk Tank Smoking Stations"

With Mayor Bloomberg and his cohorts buzzing about expanding the New York smoking ban moving outside of restaurants and bars, all "hip" and "with it" New Yorkers will tell you that not a day goes by when they don't discuss options to get cigarettes off our streets and into our homes (?). Some make flow charts of how best to kick these alleged cancer-inducers from parks and beaches, while others simply pen poems and short stories to express their solutions.

With help from my dear friend and colleague in life, Lauren, I have composed a short list of my own solutions, which I have submitted to Mikey B. for consideration. Please note that not all of the below ideas actually ban smoking from the streets, some merely isolate it. Feel free to add your own.

1. Make smokers smoke into long mail tubes that channel their smoke into the sky
2. Replace all cigarettes with candy necklaces - still suppresses appetite without that harmful second hand smoke
3. Allow smoking in Starbucks only. Lets face it, the store could take a hit.
4. Enforce a you-can-smoke-only-if-you-wear-these-oversized-glasses law
5. Make cigarettes more eco-friendly. Maybe the smoke could simultaneously hurt your lungs and plant trees?
6. Just download the iPhone app - the smoking surrogate
7. If smoking outside is the problem, lets just put a giant roof over the city so that everywhere is inside.

So... to recap, channel their smoke, candy necklaces, Starbucks, oversized-glasses law, eco-friendly, iPhone app, and a giant roof. Got it Bloomberg?

But back to the point. Lauren and I (while formulating this list) came up with the BEST PLAN OF ALL TIME. A mandatory Dunk Tank Smoking Station, located at every corner of every block.
It's foolproof.
Foolproof AND fun.